That's what he said- Seven

1. Whenever you hug her friend, don't feel her boobs with your hands. Feel it with your chest. Shake a little bit.

2. Make sure that you take care of her every needs. Be selective when it comes to her wants.

3. If you ever have her in your arms, squeeze her a bit. Don't expect juice instantly.

4. She might want to go out on a holiday this summer. Beaches will mean bikinis. But you'd rather see her covered in a cold place, sticking to you near a warm fire.

5. If you are thinking of someone else while having sex with her, please make sure it isn't your hairy male boss. Don't have sex with you hairy male boss.

6. Her ex boyfriend might be close to her, well so can yours.

7. If you haven't spoken to her all day and she hasn't called, you should. Ego will not get you laid.

8. If she's having her girlfriend over. Don't suggest a threesome. Unless the girlfriend is already licking her face.

9. If you have pet names for each other, keep it to yourself. Other people don't care about Poochie Coo.

10. Stand and protect her in every way possible. Unless you are in a wheelchair.

That's what he said- Six

1. If she can roll a joint, her tongue and here R's. She's a keeper.

2. Never call her a bitch. Unless you are into bestiality and she is one.

3. If you want to go to the bathroom in the night, do not switch on the light. Wake her up

and ask her to do so.

4. Bathe together once in a while. Farting in the tub is ten bonus points.

5. On a few occasions, cook all three meals of the day. But make sure she makes the sandwich.

6. If she wants to talk to you and football is on, let her say what she wants. Not like you

are listening to it anyway.

7. If she believes in a God, let her. But make sure you introduce her to your purple unicorn

too.

8. Her mother might hit on you. Do not sleep with her. Your girl has come out of that thing.

9. Always concede defeat in a fight. Women and Logic is an oxymoron.

10. Tell her about this list. It will make her laugh.

That's what he said- Five

1. Whenever she is rude or nasty, don't recriminate. Instead walk out the door. Return with chocolates. Make sure they have a laxative in them.

2. Always talk about your ex-girlfriends. Also the fake ex-girlfriends.

3. Make a wish-list with her. Let them be all that she wishes for. Also laminate it.

4. Respect her parents. But do not make them yours. Cause then it would be incest.

5. If her best friend is a guy, don't be angry. His thoughts are not your problem, but his actions are.

6. Wake up in the morning and call her. Especially if it's at 5am.

7. Take her out dancing. Oh, and learn to dance. Now go practice those thumkas.

8. She will smell like fish. And yes, you should eat it.

9. If she refuses to go to Janata. Leave her.

10. On long drives, let her music play. You sit at home.

That's what he said- Four

1. Watch her every move with absolute care. Then slyly topple the chess pieces

2. If you ever jack-off thinking about her, make sure she isn't in the room. If she is, think about someone else. But do jack-off!

3. On a scale of 1 to 10, make sure she is an 11. Buy new scale.

4. Crying isn't unmanly. Although do not cry for an Argentinian woman.

5. If she has had Chinese, make sure she shits before you fuck her in the arse. Also Garlic Chicken is awesome.

6. Making out should be spontaneous. Plan it.

7. Learn to appreciate her cooking. She should already be a master Sandwich Maker!

8. Never physically abuse her. Her hitting you is a good sign.

9. Make her breakfast in the afternoon.

10. Once in a while, let her drive. Make sure she wears a uniform.

That's what he said- Three

1. Believe each and every word that comes out from her mouth. Also those that come out from her vagina.

2. Don't buy her Roses. Get her Sunflowers instead.

3. She will take you out shopping. Do go along. Crib every 10 seconds. In between, think about her breasts.

4. If you carry her lipsticks in your pants, make sure you don't have a hard on.

5. Let her win at a pool game. Especially if it's Marco Polo.

6. On occasions like weddings of her relatives, wear a nice suit. But make sure that the socks don't match.

7. Watch her wear a sari. Practice wearing her too.

8. You will be the only one to drop her home. Take advantage. Make her pay for the petrol.

9. Call her everyday. Especially after you have kissed her goodnight. Or the back of your hand.

10. Let her see other people. Unless she is blind.

That's what he said- Two

1. Don't ever let her know that you cried last night. Smile and hide the pillow. Use it to smother her ego

2. Tell her stories about when you were drunk. Mention each and every detail. Keep mentioning how you don't remember anything from that night

3. Hold her hand when you walk. Let go off it when you cross the road

4. Ask her to dance when no music is playing. Turn her once, turn her twice, turn her into coming traffic

5. Always tell her the truth, even if you have to lie about it

6. She'll think you are hilarious and touch you on the shoulder. She'll even laugh louder when she touches your dick

7. Don't promise her the stars and the moons. Don't promise her the stars and stripes either

8. Never make her cry cause of physical behaviour. Emotionally, do battle along.

9. Walk her to your house. Leave her at the door.

10. Tell her sweet nothings. Include the grocery list

That's what he said - One

1. I’m just a simple man who does not understand women. I also don't understand quantum mechanics. But I don't want to fuck Schrodinger

2. She will want her man to not cheat on her. But she'll be okay to cheat with him

3. When the girl you fancy does not fancy you back and the guy she fancy’s does not fancy her back, then we need a fourth to play Ludo

4. Make sure that the only time she is beneath you is when you are making love. Also when you are sitting on a sofa, and she is on the ground

5. Tell her that you love her. Mean it. She might be pretending though. Don't question. You are likely to get some action

6. I can tell you that you cried about her last night. She on the other hand cried about another man. He fixed a light bulb

7. Always admit your mistake. Also admit her to an hospital when she does

8. Take her to your favourite place. Make sure she gets a happy ending as well

9. You want to meet her often when you like her. She wants to meet you occasionally when you like her

10. Ignore her moves. Especially when it's towards another guy