That's what he said- Five

1. Whenever she is rude or nasty, don't recriminate. Instead walk out the door. Return with chocolates. Make sure they have a laxative in them.

2. Always talk about your ex-girlfriends. Also the fake ex-girlfriends.

3. Make a wish-list with her. Let them be all that she wishes for. Also laminate it.

4. Respect her parents. But do not make them yours. Cause then it would be incest.

5. If her best friend is a guy, don't be angry. His thoughts are not your problem, but his actions are.

6. Wake up in the morning and call her. Especially if it's at 5am.

7. Take her out dancing. Oh, and learn to dance. Now go practice those thumkas.

8. She will smell like fish. And yes, you should eat it.

9. If she refuses to go to Janata. Leave her.

10. On long drives, let her music play. You sit at home.